Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The Frog With the Wig
Random Question: The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with a wig.
Because, I am working on a blog idea suggested by Ron over at the Old Geezer Blogsite and since the children were waiting, I decided that I would tell this story about the bald frog with the wig and let it automatically post today. That way I can continue to work on Ron’s idea.
Please read the disclaimer at the bottom of the page before reading this story.
Once upon a time there was a beautiful green frog with beautiful green hair. This young frog loved his long green hair. He washed his hair everyday and he combed his beautiful green hair several times a day. His beautiful green hair curled down around his ears, and it fell down around his little froggy face and it shined like it was the sun. He never got tired of looking at his hair in the mirror. This beautiful green frog loved to have people tell him how beautiful his beautiful green hair was.
One day, however, he did something he will never forget. Even though his mother frog told him never to play with matches, he did. He played with matches. Yes, children, he knew this was wrong and that he shouldn’t do it. He never thought about the bad consequences of disobeying his momma frog.
His mother was taking a nap after watching a rather exciting episode of Kermit the Frog and his daddy frog was sitting on the log near the old pond zapping flies with his long but lightening quick tongue. So, after looking around to make sure no one was looking, this naughty green frog with beautiful green hair found some matches in the Froggy Family Junk drawer.
As he was playing with those matches do you know what happened? Whoosh! The flame from one of the matches caught a froggy dish towel on fire. He panicked. He didn't know what to do. As he grabbed the towel to try and take it outside of the lily pad, flames fell off the towel on to, you guessed it, his beautiful green hair.
Well it burned his hair all off. Luckily he knew the stop, drop, and roll life saving procedure that had been taught at his local froggymentary school. So he did just that. He stopped right away, dropped to the ground, and rolled over and over until the fire was put out. Luckily, he didn't burn his face, or his ears, or his eyes, or his nose, or even his toes. He just burned his beautiful green froggy hair clean off his beautiful froggy head.
Well, do you know what happens when beautiful green froggy hair burns? You don't? It never grows back. He was now a bald beautiful green frog with no more beautiful green hair.
This is why he now wears a wig. Yep, he had to buy a beautiful green wig to cover up his sin of playing with matches. So, children, never play with matches around a beautiful green frog with beautiful green hair. If you catch his hair on fire it will never grow back and you will have to buy him a wig!
(This story was made up on the spot and it does not resemble any frog living or dead or any instance involving any frog now living or dead that had beautiful green hair that played with matches and burned off all of its beautiul green hair and had to buy a wig. Do not try this at home, this story is for entertainment purposes only and never invest money in beautiful green or even ugly frogs for the purposes of investment.
No frogs, green or otherwise, hairy or smooth were injured in the making of this story. This story is copyrighted by The Beautiful Green Frog With Beautiful Green Hair Foundation and the Gospel Driven Disciples, it is not for public broadcast on any NFL media unless full credit is given to the Gospel Driven Disciples with monetary consideration prior to any and all NFL lockouts.
No frogs green or otherwise were compensated for this story and no material goods changed hands. Do not fold, spindle, or otherwise multilate any beautiful green frog, wigs, or Dolly Parton. (Dolly Parton appears as a courtesty of no one - I just like her duets with Porter Wagoner.
The Beautiful Green Frog with Beautiful Green Hair Foundation and the Gospel Driven Disciples are not responsbile for any harm that comes from the reading, enjoyment, or otherwise emotional response to this story.)
Posted by Gregg Metcalf at 3:00 AM