Monday, March 3, 2014

The Death of Common Sense

Obituary Notice

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense.



Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart
failure at the brink of the millennium. No one really
knows how old he was since his birth records were
long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools,
hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks
get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For
decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits
held no power over Common Sense. He was credited
with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when
to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm,
and life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting
strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and
its okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression,
and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived
cultural and educational trends including feminism, body
piercing, whole language and "new math."

But his health declined when he became infected with the
"If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent
decades his waning strength proved no match for the
ravages of overbearing federal regulation.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by
self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health
rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero tolerance policies, reports of six year old boys
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate,
a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after
lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student.
It declined even further when schools had to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student but cannot
inform the parent when the female student is pregnant
or wants an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband, churches became
businesses, criminals received better treatment than
victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out
of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding
questionable regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets,
"smart" guns, the nurturing of Prohibition Laws and
mandatory air bags.

Finally when told that the homeowners association
restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced
property values, he breathed his last.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents
Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by
three stepbrothers: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.

(Author Unknown)

4 comments:

Chasing Rainbows said...

Very cleverly written Gregg, Common sense is availiable to everyone if only they knew it. sad to say my family all in their forties haven't come across it yet except the the one in Spain who had the common sense to listen to his instincts and led the life he wanted to.

Yvonne.

Susan said...

Very true Gregg.

KC Bob said...

Nothing common about Common Sense. :)

Lorena Sims said...

ha! I should let my husband read this. He doesn't know who common sense is.